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Then there’s the good shit. Hooked up with this chef—fuck, she was fire! Knew her way round a bedroom, no recipe needed. “That’s a bingo!” I shouted, Tarantino-style. Made me happy, proper shagged out! But the ghostin’ after? Pissed me off! “You don’t scalp me, darlin’!” I’d yell if she’d answer. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, jackpot; half, you’re screwed.

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Then, I get this wild idea. What if I set up a pop-up event right there? I mean, it’s perfect! So, I start sketching out ideas on a napkin. I’m getting all pumped up, and then I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the path. They’re laughing, having a blast, and I’m just sitting there, grinning like an idiot.

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