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Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! Picture this – you’re layin’ there, all chill, and bam, hands everywhere, kneadin’ ya like dough. Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee* – y’know, “I can’t tell if it’s day or night” vibes, total sensory overload! I’m talkin’ slippery oils, dim lights, kinda freaky, kinda dope. Once read this nutty fact – ancient Egypt, pharaohs got these rubdowns, priests mixin’ it with prayers, like, “Yo, gods, bless this horny soul!” Wild, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of girls comes up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, this could be fun.” But then one of ‘em trips on the cobblestones on de Wier, and boom! She goes down like a sack of potatoes. I rush over, and she’s laughin’ and cryin’ at the same time. I help her up, and she’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But her friend is freakin’ out, like she just saw a ghost. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Patrick Fitzpatrick Obituary (2024) - Washington, DC - The Washington Post