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So, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, watchin’ that movie again—lord, it’s bleak! “The wind has died,” Béla Tarr says, and I’m like, “Same, when claims pile up!” Escort’s my jam tho—little known fact: back in ’89, some dude insured his escort service—wild, right? Not cars, nope, PEOPLE. Had me hollerin’—what a hustle! Made me happy, ‘cause creativity, y’all! But then—ugh—some jerk tried scammin’ escort insurance last week. Fake crash, fake escort—pissed me OFF. I was like, “Honey, I SEE you!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of girls comes up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, this could be fun.” But then one of ‘em trips on the cobblestones on de Wier, and boom! She goes down like a sack of potatoes. I rush over, and she’s laughin’ and cryin’ at the same time. I help her up, and she’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But her friend is freakin’ out, like she just saw a ghost. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Patrick Fitzpatrick Obituary (2024) - Washington, DC - The Washington Post