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About Nijmegen

What I love? The chaos, motherfucker! You might hit gold—some chick or dude who’s freaky and chill. Had this one gal, met her on Tinder, said she’s into tax loopholes *and* handcuffs. I was like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” Happy as fuck—thought I’d found my Marion, y’know? “I’m gonna make it big!”—that’s what I told myself. Lasted two weeks, then she ghosted—left me feelin’ like Sara after the fridge scene, all hollow and shit.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, this old lady walks by. She’s got a shopping cart full of groceries, and she stops to watch the chaos. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re in the wrong place!” But she just shakes her head and says, “Kids these days.” I couldn’t help but laugh. She’s got more wisdom than half the crowd.

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