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Sex-dating’s a gamble, tho. You roll the dice, might get a prince, might get a creep who texts “u up?” at dawn. Surprised me how many weirdos are out there—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Bruh, chill! Ain’t nobody hirin’! Makes me wanna yell, “This isn’t how it’s done, son!” But that’s the game—messy, loud, and full of “what ifs.” Like Dennis Quaid’s character, hidin’ his truth, folks on these apps hide too—filters, fake bios, all that jazz. “It’s all so terribly heart-wrenching,” as Cathy’d say, watchin’ ‘em pretend.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, this old lady walks by. She’s got a shopping cart full of groceries, and she stops to watch the chaos. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re in the wrong place!” But she just shakes her head and says, “Kids these days.” I couldn’t help but laugh. She’s got more wisdom than half the crowd.

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