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What pisses me off? The hypocrites. Politicians bangin’ on bout morals, then bookin’ escorts on the sly. Saw one on X once—MP wafflin’ bout family values, next day he’s caught with a call girl. Wanker. But the girls? Some are aces—smart, runnin’ their own show. Met one in Macau, swear she could’ve outsmarted Q. Had me gobsmacked, her hustle was that tight. “Lust awakens the desire to possess”—straight outta the movie, that. She owned the room, not me.

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops on the Kerkstraat. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store with all these random knick-knacks. I see a tiny wooden shoe and think, “This is perfect for my collection!” But when I go to pay, my card gets declined. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” The cashier gives me this look, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly.

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