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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops on the Kerkstraat. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store with all these random knick-knacks. I see a tiny wooden shoe and think, “This is perfect for my collection!” But when I go to pay, my card gets declined. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” The cashier gives me this look, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly.

Hoorn delays decision on removing controversial statue