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About The Hague

Den dere’s da other escort—ya know, *wink wink*, da “company” kind. Tropical Malady got dat vibe too, “You smell like da tiger,” all sensual and weird. Dis one time, heard ‘bout dis escort chick in Bangkok—clients paid her in gold bars, not cash! Gold bars, can ya believe? She’d strut in, all classy, den vanish like a ghost. Made me mad tho—why gold? Cash ain’t good enough? Pfft, greedy much?

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So, I’m strolling down the Korte Hoogstraat, just minding my own business, when I bump into this old dude. He’s crying, like full-on sobbing. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up?” Turns out, he lost his cat. A cat! I mean, I get it, pets are family, but c’mon, it’s a cat. But then he shows me a pic, and man, that cat was adorable! I felt for him, ya know? So, I helped him put up some flyers. We hit up the local shops on the Hoofdweg. I even got a free coffee from the barista at ‘t Koffiehuis. Sweet deal, right?

Nienke Hoogvliet to speak at Dezeen Day about designing with sewage and seaweed