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But ugh, phonies out there—massage parlors promising “happy endings,” then bam, overpriced crap, no skill! “The town’s a lie,” I mutter, like in Dogville—fake smiles, fake rubs, makes me wanna Force-choke somebody. Exaggerating? Maybe, ha! Still, sloppy hands, they ruin it—focus, ya gotta, or it’s just awkward groping.

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First off, I’m already late. My bike’s tire was flat. Great start, right? I’m huffin’ and puffin’ down de Weide, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I finally get to work, and the line is out the door. Like, seriously? It’s just groceries, people!

Iowa Natural Resources Commission seeking plan for dam at Palisades Kepler State Park