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Oh, and the weirdos they meet! One punter wanted ‘er to sing opera naked – what the fuck, right? Cracked me up, picturin’ it! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – missin’ the madness of it all. Sex escort’s gritty, raw – like Boyhood, life just happens, no script. “It’s always right now,” movie says – escorts live that, every dodgy night. Me? I’d rather skulk in caves than deal with that lot – too much drama, preciousss!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, fumin’ a bit. I pass by the park on De Kuilen. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a park, not a racetrack!”

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