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About Almere

So anyway, I tried it once, sexual-massage, swear to God. Lady’s all, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax? With your hands there?!” Made me so mad—why’s it gotta be so awkward? I’m sweatin’, she’s whisperin’ somethin’ sultry, and I’m yellin’, “Speak up! I’m deaf in one ear!” Total disaster. But—okay, fine—it felt kinda good, pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it. That slow rub on my shoulders? Heaven! Surprised me, honestly, didn’t expect that.

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So, I rush over, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these bikers are relentless! I swear, if I get hit by one more bike, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I finally make it to the meeting, and guess what? The client is late. Classic. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve just stayed in bed.