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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the new display.” Oh great, just what I need. I’m halfway through my stroopwafel, and now I gotta rush back to the office. I’m practically running down the Vuursteenstraat again, and I swear, I’m gonna trip over my own feet.