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About The Hague

Humor? Oh, motherfucker, imagine this: you’re lyin’ there, buck naked, and the masseuse whispers, “Relax, big guy.” I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t relax!” But then—fuck!—you do. It’s like your soul gets a hard-on. Sarcasm aside, it’s dope—beats a regular massage by a mile. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Feels like you’re floatin’ in some Thai jungle, past lives fuckin’ with your head.

Call to book

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But then, this guy in the back starts heckling me. Like, really? I’m trying to pour my heart out here! I almost lose my cool, but I just laugh it off. “Hey man, if you think you can do better, come up here!” The crowd goes wild.