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About The Hague

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage—sounds like some hippy nonsense. But lemme tell ya, it’s a damn industry. Been around forever, probs since some caveman rubbed one out. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout Brokeback Mountain—best damn movie ever. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says. That’s me with my hatred for this touchy-feely crap. But sexual-massage? It’s sneaky, gets under yer skin.

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After that, I headed down to the beach. The sand was all over the place, and I swear, I found a piece of driftwood that looked like a violin. I was like, “This is a sign!” So, I took it back to my workshop on the Zandstraat. I’m telling ya, inspiration hits in the weirdest ways.

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