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About Amsterdam

Favorite part? The chase, man—gets the blood pumpin’! Worst? Flakes—ghost ya faster’n you can say “Malarkey!” Once texted a guy—yeah, I swing both ways, sue me—thought he’s cool, then nada. Felt like Llewelyn Moss, runnin’ from somethin’ invisible. Pissed me off, but whatever—next!

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the Dorpstraat, just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this cute little café called De Koffiepot. I’m like, “Yo, I need some caffeine!” So I pop in, order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a wild beard—totally messes up my order. I mean, come on! I asked for a cappuccino, not a latte with extra foam! I’m like, “Dude, I’m a sailor, not a foam connoisseur!” But whatever, I just roll with it.

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