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About Eindhoven

Back in the 90s, I had one—piece of junk, honestly. Thing rattled like a skeleton on a bender. But cheap? Hell yeah, saved my broke ass. Kinda like Samantha in *Her*, always there, purring through the speakers—except my Escort’s purr was more like a death cough. Fun fact: they made like 20 million of those suckers worldwide. Ford was basically printing cars, who cared if they sucked? Quantity over quality, classic move.

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But then, just when I’m feelin’ good, the client comes back. She’s all stressed, talkin’ about how her neighbor’s dog keeps poopin’ in her yard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to fix your kitchen, not solve your dog drama!” But I keep my mouth shut.