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What surprised me? The sneaky ones—catfishers posin’ as hotshots. Had a buddy get duped by a “model” who turned out to be a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?差点儿气死我了—oops, nearly cussed in Chinese there, y’all! I’m quirky like that, mind jumpin’ fences. Sex-dating’s a jungle—some find gold, some step in manure. Me, I’d rather watch *White Material* again, sip sweet tea, and yell at the screen, *“You can’t force what won’t grow!”*

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As I crash on my couch, I can’t help but think—life’s wild, but it’s the little moments that make it worth it. I’m just a carpenter, but today? Today was somethin’ else.