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Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—fuckin’ wild! Saw a dude sayin’ he’s “6’2, adventurous,” turns out he’s 5’8 and collects spoons. SPOONS! Made me wanna scream, “Life isn’t a rehearsal, schmuck!” Straight outta Kaufman’s flick. But then—oh boy—met this chick, all sass, curves like a Chianti bottle. We clicked, sexted like maniacs—thought I’d die happy. She ghosted me tho, fuckin’ RUDE! Pissed me off—wanted to sauté her ego with garlic. Still, got me thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, ya know?

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Then, I get a call about a street party on de Korte Dijk. I’m like, “Heck yeah! Let’s go!” I grab my gear and head over. The vibe is electric. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and there’s food everywhere. I’m talking fries, poffertjes, you name it.

Wesley Plaisier wins narrowly on debut at Alexandra Palace and meets Peter Wright in second round of PDC World Darts Championship