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So, check this – I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, some bird’s posin’ with a bleedin’ tiger – who’s got a tiger?! Made me laugh, mate, proper mental! Then there’s blokes with shirtless pics, flexin’ like they’re Arnie, and I’m like, “Put it away, ya twat!” Gets me angry, all that fake shit – just be real, y’know? But then, bam, ya find someone chill, chats flowin’, and I’m happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me how quick it can click – like, one sec yer lonely, next yer plannin’ a dirty weekend!

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I’m trying to keep up with all the chatter on the radio. It’s like a game of telephone, but everyone’s yelling. I’m getting info from all over: “There’s a crowd at de Kromme Zandweg!” “Someone’s lost a dog on de Dijk!” “A cat stuck in a tree on de Wetering!” I’m like, “What is this, a pet rescue mission?”

Power grid in Rotterdam and surrounds now also at max capacity