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So, I’m picturin’ it—layin’ there, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “Yes, bitch, respect my authoritah!” It’s not just some lame backrub, nah, it’s got that naughty edge. Did ya know, back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from like, 20 concubines at once? Freakin’ insane! Bet they were all, “Oh, emperor, you so tense!”—suckers probably died happy. Makes me mad tho—where’s MY concubines, huh? I deserve that shit!
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But then, I bump into an old friend. We start reminiscing about high school. You know, the good ol’ days. But then, he brings up that time I tripped in front of the whole class. Ugh, the embarrassment! I wanted to crawl under a rock.
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