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Last week, I tried it, yeah—mate hooked me up, some chick with magic hands. Walked in, dim lights, candles, I’m like, “This is nang!” She’s all, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m thinkin’, “Shit, this is better than chips and curry sauce!” Oils hit my back, warm, slippin’ everywhere—she’s workin’ it, proper slow, like Emma tracin’ Adèle’s skin, “You’re so beautiful,” I’m hearin’ in my head. Got me vexed tho—why ain’t this on the NHS? Bare injustice, fam!

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Anyway, I finally get to the park near the Kooimeer. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There was this group of kids blasting music. I mean, I love a good beat, but c’mon! It was like a rave in the middle of a family picnic. I wanted to join in, but I also wanted to throw their speakers in the canal.

Sawyer County Record Events - Birchleggings Club/Birkie Green Race-Bib Recycling and Landfill Tour