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Ooh, imagine this—sex escort in *Pan’s Labyrinth*! She’d dodge that freaky toad thing, all sassy. “This is my kingdom now!” she’d yell. I’d cheer, duh! Prolly trips over her heels tho—oopsie! Funny as heck. Oh, and fun fact—oldest escort gig? Ancient Rome, baby! Togas and all—wild, right?
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