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I’m like, “Girl, you a survivor!” She laughed, told me she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster—smelled like ass but she made it! I was dyin’, picturin’ her divin’ in trash like a badass. “Witness me!” she yelled, cackling—straight outta the movie! Made me happy as fuck, seein’ her own it. But then, ugh, this sleazy dude rolled up, actin’ all entitled—pissed me off! Wanted her for cheap, like she ain’t worth gold. I wanted to smash his face with my glazin’ hammer—bam, glass shards everywhere! She handled it tho, sassed him into the ground—queen shit.
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Finally, he shows up, all flustered. Turns out he got lost on the way. In Heerde! I mean, it’s not that big! We sit down, and I’m trying to get him to chill. I’m like, “Breathe, man. It’s just football.” But he’s all over the place. I’m thinking, “This kid needs a hug or a slap, I can’t decide.”
Fred Martin Ahlers Obituary February 13, 2018
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