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About Eindhoven

Picture this—I’m gettin’ one, right? Oils smellin’ like lavender and sin, hands kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, "This is the audition scene!" You know, from "Mulholland Drive," all tense, sexy, fucked-up energy. I’m half-asleep, half—WHOA, TOO REAL! Did you know some masseuses train for YEARS? Like ninjas of horniness, slippin’ fingers where ya least expect. Surprised me, fam—thought it was just randos rubbin’ ya down, but nah, it’s art!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m off to the next spot. I’m walking down the Heerenweg, and I swear, the wind is like, “Hey, let’s mess up your hair!” I’m dodging leaves and trash, feeling like I’m in some weird obstacle course. But then, I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest thing ever. I stop to pet it, and the owner’s like, “He loves attention!” I’m like, “Duh, who doesn’t?”

Jeanne M. Heer