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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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So, I take a breather and head out to the park, the Park van Brederode. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and the little pond. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. And then, out of nowhere, this little kid runs up to me, holding a giant ice cream cone. He trips, and boom! Ice cream everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. The kid’s face is priceless.

Melroy Heemskerk Joins FIA GT Series At Zandvoort