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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not cars, nah, the spicy kind. Folks payin’ for company, sneaky dates, y’know? Kinda like in “A History of Violence” - secrets under the skin. “You’re a liar, Tom Stall!” - that’s me yellin’ at escort fakers. Pretendin’ it’s all love, pfft, cash rules everything.

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So, I’m waiting there, and it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I’m under this tree, trying to stay dry, when I see this couple running by, laughing like they’re in a rom-com. I’m like, “Really? You’re gonna be all cute while I’m here getting soaked?”

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