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About Groningen

What pisses me off? The fakers! These posers chargin’ $200 for a “sexual-massage” and it’s just a lousy backrub—bitch, please! I’d rather watch Son of Saul again and cry my eyes out—“What’s done cannot be undone”—than waste my money on that crap. But when it’s good? Oh man, I’m happy as a pig in shit. This one time, my buddy swore he got one in Vegas—said the chick’s hands were magic, like she was kneadn’ his soul. I was jealous, not gonna lie—my soul’s still stiff as a board!

Nu beschikbaar! Cadeaubon

Sexual massage · Tantric massage · 69 Position · Classic Sex · Anal Sex · Facesitting (give) · Cunnilingus · Anal Sex for extra charge · Rimming (take).

I finally duck into a café on the Markt. It’s cozy, and I order a koffie. The barista is this cool dude with a beard, and he’s like, “You look like you need a pick-me-up.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” We start chatting, and he tells me about the history of Harenkarspel. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for agriculture. Who knew?