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About Breda

So, I’m thinkin’, right, sprawled out, some bird—or bloke, no judgement!—kneadin’ me like dough, and it’s all “action without profit,” like in *Holy Motors*. No faff, just feelin’. But don’t get it twisted, mate—it ain’t all roses. Some punters reckon it’s a quick shag, and I’m like, “Oi, calm yer jets, it’s *massage*, not a bleedin’ brothel!” Gets me goat, that does. Still, when it’s legit, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the oil, whatever’s handy.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the local bakery. Oh man, the smell of fresh broodjes is like heaven. I grab a kaasbroodje, and it’s so good I almost cry. But then, I see this kid, right? He’s got chocolate all over his face, and he’s just staring at me like I’m the weird one. I mean, c’mon, kid, you’re the one with a face full of chocolate!