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But fuck, some drivers—useless! Saw one crash, drunk, total clownshow. Pissed me off—weak links ruin it. “A folk song’s got rules,” Llewyn’d say—escort’s same. Precision or bust. Surprised me once, tho—this chick, ex-KGB, ran an escort crew. Badass. Tiny, 5’2”, but ice-cold, calculated. Could outdrive anyone, even me (hah, maybe). I’d exaggerate, say she dodged bullets—probly did.

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Next, I had to meet this sweet old lady, Mrs. Jansen. She lives on the Van der Waalstraat. Total sweetheart. She’s got this adorable little garden, full of tulips and stuff. I’m thinking, “Finally, a normal appointment!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Whiskers. And let me tell you, that cat has more drama than a soap opera. She goes on and on about how Whiskers needs pet insurance. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for your house, not your cat!” But I can’t say that, right? So I nod and smile, pretending to care about Whiskers’ “medical history.”

Strike at Haren and Saint-Gilles prisons, talks scheduled for Tuesday