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So, I’m chattin’ with my squirrel posse, and I’m like, “Escorts, they’re pros at lookin’ gorg!” *The Nanny laugh – HAHAHA!* Ya ever notice how they strut, all classy-like? Makes me wanna toss my acorns and join ‘em! I mean, they’re out there, makin’ bank, dressin’ like they’re in some Roma fantasy – “The eternal city’s got nothin’ on their sparkle!” Little factoid for ya – back in the day, escorts in Venice? They’d wear these wild platform shoes, like 2 feet high, to dodge the muck. Imagine that, totterin’ around, lookin’ fab – I’d trip and eat dirt, hon!

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Next, I head to the old town, and it’s just gorgeous. The architecture is insane! I’m strolling down the Langegracht, and I spot this cute café. I’m thinking, “Maybe I can just grab a coffee?” But then, I see the prices. I’m like, “What are they serving, liquid gold?” So, I just take a pic of the place instead. #BrokeGuideLife.

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