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Love how they strut, all confident-like. “It’s too late now,” they’d say, like in the movie, ditchin’ a bad date. Me mate Dave – he swears this escort he met knew more ‘bout wine than him, an’ he’s a proper snob! Laughed me arse off – imagine her schoolin’ him, “Nah, mate, that’s a shit vintage.” We swears, they’re clever, these lot! Makes me wanna chat ‘em up meself, hear their wild tales.

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We stroll over, and man, it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging strollers and old ladies with their shopping carts. I swear, one almost took me out! I’m just tryin’ to enjoy the vibe, ya know? But then I see this guy selling these weird, funky stoves. Like, what’s up with that? I’m all about craftsmanship, and this dude’s got stoves that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie. I’m fuming!

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