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About Groningen

Sometiems I wonder—would I hack it? Nah, too ugly, too growly. But them? Balls of steel. Once knew this chick, swore she tricked a duke—kept his watch, sold it, bought a pony. A pony, man! Cracked me up, still does. Economy’s a beast—whores ride it bareback, no saddle, no fucks. “The shadows betray you,” I growl, but they own ‘em. That’s the kicker—respect, mate, respect.

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Then, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Ooh, let’s treat myself!” I order a slice of appeltaart, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a plate. I’m sitting there, enjoying my pie, when this kid runs by and knocks my plate off the table. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see his face, and he’s just so cute, I can’t even be mad.

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