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What hooks people tho? Power trip, maybe. You’re in charge, settin’ the mood. Or the intimacy—gettin’ close, no strings. Me, I’d suck at it—clumsy hands, I’d spill the oil everywhere, total disaster. Surprised me how many regulars these workers get—like, same dude every Tuesday, clockwork. Human connection, man, even if it’s paid.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Groninger Museum. I’m all about that modern art, you know? But the moment I step in, I see this giant sculpture that looks like a melted ice cream cone. I’m standing there, trying to figure out if it’s art or just a mistake. I’m like, “Is this what my life has come to?” But then I see a kid staring at it, and he’s like, “Mom, why is it sad?” I lose it. I’m laughing so hard, I almost get kicked out.

Universities create ‘self-regulation plan’: Groningen largely spared