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Gets weirder, though – hear this! Mate o’ mine, he swears some lass sex-dated him just to nick his firefightin’ helmet! “What’s she want that for?” I screeches. Fetish or somethin’? Laughed me arse off, I did! But serious, it’s a jungle out there – fake pics, catfishers lurkin’. “The world’s gone astray,” like in me film, yesss. Dodgy sods pretendin’ they’re hot stuff – surprises me every time!

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Then, I’m walking down the Folkingestraat, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I’m vibing, feeling good, and then—WHAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. I mean, c’mon! Is this a sign? Am I cursed? I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really, universe? Really?”

Trey Van Groningen commits to Dordt, following family legacy