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But here’s the real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and pick, nah. There’s layers, man, like a fat-ass joint. You gotta know the corners, the codes. Like, back in ‘92, I heard this story—dude in LA got played by a chick who was really a cop, busted his ass mid-hustle. True shit! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—don’t waste my time, yo! I’m out here tryna chill, not dodge the fuzz.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Groninger Museum. I’m all about that modern art, you know? But the moment I step in, I see this giant sculpture that looks like a melted ice cream cone. I’m standing there, trying to figure out if it’s art or just a mistake. I’m like, “Is this what my life has come to?” But then I see a kid staring at it, and he’s like, “Mom, why is it sad?” I lose it. I’m laughing so hard, I almost get kicked out.

Trey Van Groningen commits to Dordt, following family legacy