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What pisses me off? The fakes. Catfish everywhere! “You shall not pass!” I’d bellow, if I could zap ‘em. Had a mate – let’s call him Bilbo – swiped a hottie. Turned up, she was 60, not 26. Poor sod was gutted. Me? I’d rather shred a solo than chase ghosts. But when it works? Mate, it’s magic. Sparks fly, beds creak – “Something has changed within me!” – like the movie says. Surprised me how raw it gets. Real connection? Rare, but gold.

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After that, I decide to stroll down de Welle. It’s a cute street, you know? Trees lining the way, little shops everywhere. I’m feeling good, humming a tune, when I see this old guy trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s not a marathon!” But then I realize, hey, we all gotta get old someday. So, I help him out. He thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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