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Lemme paint ya a picture—soft strokes, happy clouds. Some escorts, they’re legit pros, trained up fancy-like. Didja know? Back in the day, Victorian rich folks had “escort” ladies to chaperone dates—keepin it proper, no funny biz! Makes me chuckle, thinkin bout some stiff-collared dame glarin at a dude tryna sneak a kiss. “This is my totem,” she’d say, holdin up her fan, spinnin it to check reality! Hilarious, right? History’s got these quirky lil gems.

2. What You See In Porn Isn’t Necessarily What We Want IRL

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I hop out, and I’m ready to throw hands with this rock. But then I see it’s just a stupid boulder. I’m like, “Really? You think you can stop me?” I manage to move it, but I’m covered in mud. I look like I just crawled outta a swamp.

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Hits Episode 99: How Creator Dan Goor Made a Hit Comedy About Cops