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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.
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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Joris. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he was ranting about how the new roundabout at de Korenbloem was a “death trap.” I mean, he’s not wrong. I’ve seen people go in circles like they’re lost in a maze. It’s hilarious and terrifying at the same time.
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