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But here’s what chaps my hide – folks judgin’ it! “Oh, it’s dirty!” they squawk. Bullcrap! It’s science, ya prudes! Muscles loosen, stress hightails it outta there – what’s wrong with that? “The dead don’t care,” Saul’d mutter, but us livin’ folks? We deserve a damn break! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, like paintin’ a barn with yer hands tied. Takes skill, y’all! I seen this gal once, hands like a wizard, had me floatin’ – thought I’d died and gone to honky-tonk heaven.

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After that, I head over to the local tavern, De Zwarte Ruiter. I need a drink after all this madness. I order a beer, and the bartender, she’s super chill. We start talkin’ about the upcoming gladiator games. I’m pumped! But then she drops this bomb: “You know, the last guy who fought got his butt kicked by a goat.” A goat! I can’t even!

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