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Rarrgh! Gotta say, tho, some escorts are overpaid divas. Struttin’ like they’re Han Solo or somethin’. Cracks me up—dude, you ain’t flyin’ the Falcon! Still, respect the hustle. Takes balls to stare down danger. Kinda like me—big, hairy, loud—Rarrgh! But I’d suck at it, too clumsy, trip over my own paws.

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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