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So, check this—y’go down them back alleys, yeah? Where the bins stink an’ the shadows twitch. Look for the glow—neon signs, ciggie butts. That’s where they lurk, chattin’ up punters. My precious, they’re crafty! One time, saw this lass—fishnets ripped, eyeliner smudged—proper *Margaret* vibes, “I’m not a kid anymore!” she’d say if she could. Made me cackle, it did—sad an’ funny, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for this! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this shop on the Hoofdstraat. It’s a thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks, trying to find something to wear. I find this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange, and I’m like, “Why not?” I put it on, and suddenly, I feel like a king. A king of the thrift store!

Major fire at Geleen industrial estate, locals warned to say indoors