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Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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First call comes in. Some dude on De Bovenweg is freaking out. His car won’t start. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not rocket science! Just turn the key! But no, he’s acting like it’s the end of the world. I send a guy over, and while I’m on the line, I can hear him yelling about how he’s gonna miss his appointment at the dentist. Like, dude, it’s just a cleaning, chill!

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