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So, escort’s them girls – or dudes, I guess – who get paid to hang out, right? Like, “I will love you until my dying day,” but with a paycheck. Ain’t that wild? I read once – get this – some escort in Vegas made bank just playin’ poker with old geezers. No hanky-panky, just cards! Blew my frickin’ mind. D’oh! Why ain’t I that smart? Coulda been me, shufflin’ decks, sippin’ lattes.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He looks at me and says, “This tree has seen more than you’ll ever know.” I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s a tree.” But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s a wise tree or something.

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