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I love the thrill, tho. Like, you chat, flirt, maybe it’s “a simple exchange of glances,” like the film says, and boom, you’re planning a hookup. But sometimes, it’s all fake. People catfishin’, man, it’s like they’re copying someone else’s life! One dude pretended to be a billionaire, but he lived with his mom. His mom! I was like, “Get to the chopper!” in my head, but I just blocked him.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He looks at me and says, “This tree has seen more than you’ll ever know.” I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s a tree.” But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s a wise tree or something.

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