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So I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this dude—profile says “6’5, loves trout”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, fish guy! Turns out, he’s 5’2 and allergic to seafood. Catfished me good—made me angry as hell! Billionaires runnin’ these apps don’t care—makin’ bank off our lonely hearts. Swipe, swipe, swipe—half these profiles fake as a three-dollar bill. Little fact for ya—back in ’90s, folks used “personals” in newspapers for this crap. No pics, just vibes—way less BS!

Hiring an Escort in Emmermeer, Drenthe

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So, I’m zooming down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kinda video game. Emmermeer is full of ’em! They’re everywhere! I swear, if I had a euro for every bike I saw, I’d be rich. Anyway, I finally get to the lab on De Kade, and guess what? The coffee machine is broken. Ugh! I mean, c’mon! How am I supposed to function without my morning caffeine fix?