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Me, I’m all ‘bout that raw connection—like in “Blue,” when Adèle says, “I miss your hair in my mouth.” That’s the good stuff, y’all! Sex-datin’ can get ya there, but half the time it’s just dicks sendin’ pics—ugh, spare me! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap. “Man seeks woman for sexy times”—same game, different playground! Ain’t that a trip?

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The council folks show up, and they’re all serious. I’m trying to act cool, but inside, I’m like a tornado of panic. They start asking questions about our research on the water quality in the Emmermeer canals. I’m like, “Yeah, we’re on it!” But in my head, I’m thinking, “Please don’t ask me anything technical!”