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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!
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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call from the city council. They wanna do a surprise inspection. Like, really? Today? I’m sweating bullets. I’m running around the lab, trying to make everything look presentable. You know, hiding the mess, shoving papers in drawers. I even found a half-eaten sandwich from last week. Gross!
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