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About Rotterdam

Sex-dating’s a jungle—happy trees, twisted vines. Ya gotta dodge the weirdos, laugh at the flops. Like, 1 in 5 matches actually meet IRL—crazy, right? Rest just flirt and fade. Surprised me at first, but now I’m like, “Eh, more paint for my palette.” Bob Ross tip—keep it chill, let the good ones bloom. Exaggeratin’ for fun—I once swiped right on 50 peeps in a row, just to see! Chaos, man, pure chaos.

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So, I’m standing there, fuming, when I get a whiff of something else. It was this amazing floral scent. I follow it, and boom! I find this little flower shop on de Hoofdstraat. The owner, this sweet old lady, was arranging bouquets. I told her, “Lady, you’ve got a gift!” She smiled, and I swear, it lit up the whole street. I bought a bunch of tulips, because why not? They were bright and cheerful, just like me—well, when I’m not hangry.

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