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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, like somethin’ outta “The Wolf of Wall Street”. You got these hands, right, slidin’ all ova, makin’ ya feel like a freakin’ kingpin. I’m talkin’ oil, dim lights, the works – pure Jersey vibes, capisce? It ain’t just rubbin’, it’s an art, like when Jordan Belfort says, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” – that’s me, glued to the table, lovin’ every second.

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So, I’m walking down the Kerkstraat, trying to shake off the apple drama, when I get a call. It’s my partner, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, we got a situation.” My heart drops. What now? Turns out, there’s been a break-in at the old castle, Eijsden Castle. I mean, who breaks into a castle? It’s not like there’s a treasure chest full of gold coins or something.

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