Jade Eijsden Sexual Massage ❤️

About Utrecht

D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and—woooh!—it’s like, sensual vibes everywhere. You know me, Homer Simpson, I’m all about feelin’ good, and this? This is next level! Watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color” again last night—marge was asleep, heh—and that line, “I want you to touch me,” hit me hard. Sexual-massage is kinda like that, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel alive! D’oh! Why didn’t I try this sooner?

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But then, I see this one kid, looking all guilty and stuff. I walk up to him, and he’s shaking like a leaf. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a castle! But then he tells me they were looking for ghosts. Ghosts! I can’t even. I had to stifle a laugh. “You think the ghosts are gonna give you a high-five?” I said. He just stared at me, wide-eyed.

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